Traumatic Death: When the death was violent or sudden or involved a child.
Your grief may become more complex and lengthy, so it is recommended to lean into God; seek help from a Christian Grief Counselor who specializes in your kind of loss; and, Submit a Prayer Request and/or Deliverance Ministry Appication. We have ministry loss consultants that have experience with violent deaths.
Your reactions to the death may be very strong, which may include:
• Blaming yourself or others
• Visualizing the death
• Experiencing anger
a. Blame – When you are blaming yourself or another for the death, you may not understand the reason for the death of your loved one. The Bible gives us many examples of blame.
“Now Martha said to Jesus, ‘Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died.” John 11:21 NKJV
What Martha did not understand was that Jesus had a plan. He will use the death of your loved one for His glory if you let Him.
b. Visualizing your loved one’s death during their last moments is normal. However, try to concentrate on your healing and think on good things (Phil 4:8). If the visualization becomes obsessive or puts you in a hopeless state, seek help from a Christian grief counselor as soon as possible.
c. In the case of homicide, wanting to make the killer suffer is a normal thought. However, to heal fully, you need to work toward forgiveness (Mark 11:25). Lean on God to help.
d. Asking why your loved one had to die over and over again is normal. This is part of working through your grief. The death of a loved one is something that is unbelievable.
e. Anger is a normal reaction to a violent death. The Bible says, “Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down upon your wrath” Eph 4:26 NKJV
There are ways to cope with your pain:
- Bring your pain to God. Lean on Him. “ Jesus said to her, “ I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live. And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die, do you believes this?” John 11:25–26, NKJV
- Remember you are not to blame. Sudden deaths such as suicide or murder can happen in any family. If you are blaming someone else for your loved one’s death, forgiveness will help you heal. This may seem like a big step to take. Ask God to help you forgive.
- Talk about your anger with someone you trust.
- Talk with your family and friends about your loved one. Sharing the good times and the bad will bring healing.
If you are finding it difficult to cope send us an email or Prayer Request and we will put you in contact with our GHH Ministry loss consultant.
To help with the administrative aspects of your loss check-out GHH Death Resource Guide.
