The pain was great as I heard the words ” you have been removed from your job.” I was in disbelief as my team was exceeding all the requirements in the office. Just that year I had won the Engineer of the year award. So how could this be? I was the last female engineer in the office. Over the year all the females were pressured to leave. I was held at a much higher standard than all the males, the discrimination was great. My father taught me to bear what is thrown at you. So I pushed through the abuse.

It wasn’t until I started my new job did I realize the trauma that I had experienced. I was like a wounded child that was expecting to be beat again. Trauma if not dealt with can have long term impact on your emotional state. According to the American Psychological Association, “Longer-term reactions (to trauma) include unpredictable emotions, flashbacks, strained relationships and even physical symptoms like headaches or nausea.”

I will be honest, I did not initially give this pain to God. As a result, when future trauma came into my life there was a build up that could not be pushed down any more. I was diagnosed with Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD) shortly after my husband died. I was told that there was no cure. I could only hope to have some functionality restored. Today when I hear the words that there is no cure or there is no hope for recovery, I say, nothing is too hard for my God.

I have been completely healed from CPTSD.

“Oh, give thanks to the Lord, for He is good! For His mercy endures forever. Let the redeemed of the Lord say so, Whom He has redeemed from the hand of the enemy,” Psalm 107:1-2

Great is my peace today.

“You will keep him in perfect peace, Whose mind is stayed on You, Because he trusts in You.” Isaiah 26:3