Have you put up a wall?  A traumatic event may have resulted in you creating a wall to self protect.    Ask God to show you.   He wants to be your wall of protection.

God you are my rock,   “The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.”  Psalm 18:2 NIV

“In you, Lord, I have taken refuge; let me never be put to shame. In your righteousness, rescue me and deliver me;
turn your ear to me and save me. Be my rock of refuge, to which I can always go; give the command to save me, for you are my rock and my fortress.”  Psalm 71:1-3 NIV