“When Esther’s young women and her eunuchs came and told her, the queen was deeply distressed. She sent garments to clothe Mordecai, so that he might take off his sackcloth, but he would not accept them.”  Ester 4:4

When someone is hurting, we want to take away the pain immediately.  Queen Ester was no different.  She had heard that Mordecai, her uncle, was at the gate mourning in sackcloth.  This was an outward sign of great inward grief and sorrow.  Ester did not know the reason at the time, she just acted by sending garments for Merdecai to put on, since no one could come through the gate in sackclothe; move on.  Mordecai refused.    

Some people refuse to move on with their grief, and it is okay.  We each grieve differently, and the support that people give may not meet your immediate needs, but that is okay as well.  If they understood, then they would be experiencing what we are.